Feeling sad

The feeling will still remain in my deep heart core if i din speak it out. I cant speak out, kai bu liao kou ~I like her yet i dare not to tell her.. I dun wan her to do things for me because i dun wanna burden her, it should ME, who do things for her ~. She is too innocent i can said.. At first, i treated her like my little sis, but later on i fall for her i think... Gosh..she's a Christian and i'm giving myself excuses Christian girl cannot to be couple ..My parents will oppose it.. But i think that are just excuses.. Moreoever, she is someone very close to me that i scared if she and I together will become a gossip for others. The feelings is such... I like her yet i cant tell her....I wanna do something for her ~~ God pls give me some guidance ~I just read the msg she sent me again and again and have s slightest smile on my lips..Argh !!! I think i get better now after saying all these ....Time to sleep... God enlighten me pls !!!

Anonymous

Phew.. Got back streamyx :D Finally lol haha...The lecture taught now is so hard, its all about central nervous system. Whoa !! So much to study ~.~ .. Looking at the terms and facts to memorize, you will be lazy till not even thinking of touching the lecture notes. Worse, i mostly sleep or chit chat with pals OR worse go to library or home straight to avoid listening the boring lecture. Haha... In the meantime while lectures going on, i sometimes catch some time to sneak at her back without arousing other friends suspicious. She's so pure and naive .. Thats why i was attracted to her. Yet, nothing has been done. Well, its a hard block according to my buddy. I better gets my gear off again. :D

Unexpected ~~

Yesterday was an unexpected day !! Surprisingly, i got the chance to have a few words with her~ It's actually like this. Every student should have a mentor, so did I. But, i never go and consult for my mentor before. So, somehow my mentor told her that a student, that's me LOL din go and look for her.. And she pass this message to me.. I was so anxious and don't even know how to react when she called me and told me about this. But, quite happy because have the chance to talk with her ~ And today i saw her outside the hall talking on phone. I wanna asked her about the mentor thing, but too coward :( Maybe if she's not talking on phone, i will go and try to initiate a few conversation with her. Haha.. But no chance , but it's a memorable day :P

2 Times Of Tachycardia 2day

Wah, today i experienced twice tachycardia.. When i was immersely searching for her stuff, i was thinking about her. Suddenly, i heard a voice coming from behind.. I turned my head back and saw it was her !! It's like a fate and i had never experienced this i think. I was shy and quickly turned back my head. I wonder why i dare not to initiate a conversation with her.. Even there's no ppl around, i still feel shy -.-'' .. I'm hoping to know her but till now , i think i only had a few conversation with her. My heartbeat was so fast at that time.. Keep thinking to leave the place as fast as possible. Why arh?? It's very ironic since i want to know her better yet trying to escape from her .. I guess i need lots of god's destiny and guts in order to talk to her lol... Then, i quickly leave the place as if nothing happen . After going back my room, thinking that she already leave the place, i go back and have a look again.. i'm such a coward :(

The second tachycardia start during the VAD training where Bruce is torturing us . LOL !!! When i saw his hand was holding a paper drawing a map, i know today won't be a good day !! Like what i expected, he said today got a new training method =,= . And its JUST ONE round running around the faculty. Huh, looks preety relaxing ,right? Then he explained about it . It was like a station by station where we have to do different physical training at each station. The first and 2nd station were still okay.. But when it comes to pumping, zzz... It was crazy 3 sets of 10 pumping. I could do the 1st set but getting fatigue during the 2nd and 3rd set. I think i did about 5/10 during the 2nd set and 3/10 during the 3rd set. Then next crab run, 2 sets of 10 + 1 set of 5 sit up. Still can bare with it. Then again dunno what training called poppi, also almost the same as pumping, but we need to jump up with open hands and legs after finish pumping. Again, 3 sets of 5 !! Then, next is frog squat and running with hands tapping on the leg to the finishing line. Wow, it was so tired.. Really experiencing tachycardia.. Even i rest for about 15 minutes, i can still feel the lethargy.

Haha.. Hopefully i can still experience the 1st tachycardia but not the 2nd one :P . Everything is fated by God ~~I wanna be more brave :)

Kampung Endap !!

Family visit at Kg.Endap today was quite fun.. Even though my partner had gone back earlier, leaving me alone to loiter around the village. I met Atak and he was going to garden at that moment with his foster parents.. Hmmm. So, i decided to go along with him and take a look at the village pieces of life.. Along the journey to the garden, i purposely listened to Jay Chou's Dao Xiang !! Hehe.. A nostalgic song for village !! Remind me of my hometown Perlis :P .. It's not a hectic city, but a very peaceful town where people can have a piece of mind there.. Here's some pics on the garden with cucumber and long beans !!! Rare scene in Kuching city !! Hehe



Wooo!!! See it?? Where can you find such a place ?? Haha... A small path with greeny surrounding!! It reminds me of the poem "The Road Not Taken" ~










The cucumber garden which Atak's foster parents had put effort on .. We was demonstrated how the cucumber was collected other than given explaination on the period of growth of these CUTE cucumbers ~~Lastly, Atak was given a plastic bag of cucumbers as a souvenir.. Haha!!











Atak smiling with his specs on !! hehe... Nice background by the way












Cabal ft time ~~ Cya

So Dark and Lonely

It's currently 4a.m nw..I can no longer sleep anymore.. With the light switched off, i feel lonely deep inside my heart.. suddenly have such feelings and its hard to describe.. Feel that my friend circle is just very small.. Listening song in the dark room at the same time, it is such a horrible thing. Yet, what to do? I cant say out myself. I cant be the one who I wan to be.. I just cant be myself when i'm in the crowd.And now.. What i am is what am i ..

Its quite harsh to say that !!! I dunno wat to say ... Moody nite..